1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Bentley than
On a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name.
3. If you help someone when they are in trouble, they will remember you when
they’re in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve all of your problems, but then neither does milk.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.